Friday, August 17, 2012

Hi. I'm Wanda

I really don't appreciate my brother writing these little snide comments about me here in his stupid little blog. I don't care what he writes about his silly theme parks, but he needs to keep his personal comments to himself. He even has his viewers making comments about me! This is internet bullying.

And while I'm on that topic, what's with Google anyway? So I have to make an account with them in order to even be able to post here. Who does Google think they are anyway? The God of the Internet? And I don't appreciate their sense of humor, either. When I created my account and uploaded my photo, this is what I got in response.

Do you see what it says in the orange box? "Are you sure people will recognize you in this photo? It doesn't seem to have a face in it." Is that supposed to be some kind of a joke?? I am outraged by  this treatment and I'm not going to simply lie down and take it. I'm going to get good and drunk, and pass out into a blissful stupor. That's what I'm going to do.

You can rest assured that I will not allow my name to be slandered or my face made fun of. Do you hear that Walter?? And you too Google! Where's Scooter? I need to beat someone.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Great Moments with Mr. Wonder - Episode 2

Here's the second episode of Great Moments with Mr. Wonder. This time around, shyguy shows off the Sunrise Cafe in the Transport Center in Expo 3000. Then, unfortunately, my obnoxious and perpetually drunken sister, Wanda, tries to order an alcoholic concoction from the poor woman running the service counter. She is such an embarrassment to the family.


I am hoping to continue the the Great Moments series, but there is little time for filming right now, as we concentrate on getting the park ready for its grand opening in late October. Oh, there's still so much to do. I don't know if we'll make it.

Friday, August 3, 2012

A Man Named Job

"Come and listen to a story about a man named Job,
A poor park inspector, just another theme park slob,
Then one day he was shootin at Mr. White,
And up went the cheers, his career blossomed out of sight!"

Yes, that's the song they sang about me, once upon a time. But I think today, a lot of people don't know much about me. So I will tell you a little bit about my history. My name is Larry Jobsworth. I am one of four identical quadruplets. My brothers names are Gary, Cary, and Harry Jobsworth.

This is the last known photo of my parents. They were killed in a theme park accident. After this, my brothers Gary and Cary took jobs at theme parks as park inspectors to help make parks safer so nobody else would ever lose their parents this way.

Unfortunately, Gary Jobsworth was found dead at the bottom of a flight of stairs soon after getting a job at Wonder World. So my other brother, Cary, applied and replaced him as the new park inspector.

 His biggest assignment was to test the new Space Port ride in Expo 3000 to make sure it was safe.

Unfortunately, it wasn't. This is the last known photo of Cary Jobsworth.

I stand corrected. THIS is the last known photo of Cary Jobsworth after he flew off the ride and landed on a ledge of the Space Port.

After this, I decided that I would become a park inspector to help make parks safe so nobody else would ever lose their parents AND brothers this way. I got hired at Water World and was doing a real good job, inspecting things, and then they hired this guy named Mr. White.

Mr. White's name was Mr. White because he dressed all in white. I guess.

But Mr. White was trying to sabotage Water World and he tried to kill me too by tampering with the water jets on the Leap of Faith slide. I almost died, but didn't.

So I got my revenge and shot him.

This is the last know photo of Mr. White.

And here I am at my new job as Chief Park Inspector at Wonder World II.

And that's the story of a man named Job. Jobsworth, that is.

You can read about my adventures at Wonder World and Water World HERE

p.s. Nobody knows what happened to Harry Jobsworth, my only surviving brother.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Great Moments With Mr. Wonder - Episode 1

Mr. Wonder here again. I'm sorry for the lack of posts, but I've been extremely busy with the construction of Wonder World II. Once the park opens, (still hoping for an October opening) I should have more time for this blog. But for now, I've got a link to my new show, "Great Moments With Mr. Wonder." This new show will feature short segments on the making of Wonder World II, and once it's open, it will feature new additions to the park, including exclusive p.o.v.s of all the great attractions.

So, here's the first episode of "Great Moments With Mr. Wonder", which features the Transport Center Atriums's fountain being turned on for the very first time!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Wonder Show - Episode 5

The fifth episode of The Wonder Show was our most technically advanced. It featured songs, music, and great visual and sound effects. We almost went over budget! It featured guest appearances by long time RCT player, wabigbear, and the RCT1 & RCT2 Board Moderator, Cornshot.

 Disney's Head plotted against me, and brought Mr. White back to life. Unfortunately, this was the last episode of The Wonder Show, as it was yanked off the air by the network after numerous complaints of inappropriate content, headed by one Edna Mophead.

Oh well. It was fun while it lasted. Here's the last episode of The Wonder Show for your viewing pleasure.